Monday, May 15, 2006

Even more sexy news

From the Sexy News Association Telegraph Corporate Headquarters (put that acronym together)

Old Rich White Dudes Can’t Catch a Break

D.C. (SNATCH) – The National Organization of CEOs (N.O. CEOs) has filed a law suit against various law enforcement agencies citing racial profiling.

“All around the nation it’s no longer safe to be an old rich greedy white dude. There is this air of suspicion and this air is created by the media and the law enforcement agencies of the United States.” Said the spokesman for N.O. CEOs Harry Palmer. He went on to say that just because a few rich old white CEOs were raping and pillaging America’s economic landscape did not give the right for Law Enforcement to assume all rich old white CEOs were doing the same.

“I was driving around in my Mercedes I recently bought by giving myself a loan from my company when I saw the ole red and blue lights flashing.” Said one rich old white CEO J.P. Moneybags. “I hadn’t done anything really wrong but nevertheless the man started to harass me. Asking me if I knew of or was planning to cook accounting books. Well I never!”

Since the latest corporate scandal hit the nation scores of old rich white dudes have been rounded up by the government for questioning.

“It’s not the poor black woman, or the hard working Korean store owner who is causing these problems. It’s not those people who declared war on the average American, its rich old white dudes who have done this.” Said Officer David Whitey of the Seattle Police Dept. “And because they are the ones who have been the predominant ones to commit these crimes we must scrutinize them.”

But Harry Palmer of N.O. CEOs doesn’t agree.

“Convicting a whole race and age group is not the American way. Besides we are at war with terrorism shouldn’t the government be occupied with catching and detaining those Middle Eastern men who are the real terrorists?”



~Phineas

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