Friday, May 19, 2006

The Sexy Professors Show pt IV...I think.

The three sexy professors walk into the room and pose. Phineas holds his pipe thoughtfully, Prescott holds a The Rhetoric by Aristotle as if he’s reading it, and Ricardo opens a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Sam: Well well well if it isn’t the Sexy Professors.

Detective #2: Ha! Pabst Blue Ribbon? Pabst Blue Ribbon is not sexy.

Ricardo looks at the other two sexy professors, smirks and points at the detective.

Ricardo: Get this guy. He thinks sexy is conducted through material objects. Listen up detective sexy is not cast upon a person but the person shines through with sexiness. So when Ricardo Honeyboy holds a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon you can bet your life that it’s sexy not because of the Pabst but because Ricardo Honeyboy is holding it.

VOICE OVER: The Sexy Professors brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon.

The detective looks away in shame as Sam the head detective walks between the Ricardo and the detective to cut off the sexy argument.

Sam: Ok ok! What brings you three here?

Phineas: We hear that there is another sexy situation at hand.

Sam: There is nothing sexy about murder.

Prescott: We never said murder was sexy. We do however find it interesting that a hot naked coed was found on the scene, so something sexy happened before the murder.

Ricardo begins to chug his pabst and nods in agreement.

Prescott: Now if you all will give me a few moments alone with the dead girl I believe we can get to the bottom of this.

Phineas: For the love of sexiness Prescott no one believes you can talk to the dead.

Prescott: You don’t?

Ricardo: No. We were only humoring you when you said that skull could talk to you and told you where you could buy discount candy.

Sam: Alright that’s enough we have official business here could you three please go do something other than be stupid here.

Ricardo walks over by the president of the university’s desk and looks at a notepad on the desk.

Ricardo: This is interesting.

He holds up the pad to show it has a date written and time circled.

Phineas: Hmm interesting (he lights his pipe again for effect) it says that the president has a meeting and only a couple hours before the death took place. Interesting.

Prescott: Interesting indeed. Perhaps the meeting went sour with the student.

Ricardo: I disagree. Here on the rest of the pad of paper are a bunch of doodles. One of what appears to be a cowboy shooting a monkey. Hmmm. And this appears to be a rocketship shooting some kind of line from it at another rocketship.

Phineas: Those are lasers. And look a man with a giant mustache. It appears the president did have some kind of a meeting because those are the doodles of someone bored. We see them all the time in our classes.

Prescott: Speak for your selves my students don’t doodle.

Phineas: You’re right Prescott. I’ve seen murals that would put Michelangelo to shame after one of your lectures.

(laughter)

Ricardo: Right and the ones that aren’t painting murals are having a nice nap.

(laughter)

Prescott: At least…At least…Oh damn I got nothing. Ok let’s get back to the matter at hand.

Sam: Interesting so you think he did have a meeting. But what was the meeting about?

Phineas: Let’s see if we can find anymore clues around the office. Hey look a business card. It says Boundaries Inc. a subsidiary of Halliburton. A fence making company. Interesting.

Prescott: Interesting indeed.

Prescott takes out his pipe and lights it and looks away thoughtfully.

Ricardo: Why would a fencing company be in a meeting with the president? This we must look into.

To be continued.



~Phineas

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