Helium filled people
I think it is a noble cause for people to cling to the helium filled people so as they don't float away and get hit by a plane or worse a hydrogen filled zeppelin.
Here is the perfect example. On one of my trips to the fanastic land of Wal-Mart (for my weekly purchasing of plastic items, charcoal, and fine jewelry) I had the privilege to be stuck behind one of these heroes holding down a helium filled person.
At first I thought he had put this young lady in a headlock and was going to choke her out like Estelle Getty does to bears and giant apes. However, I noticed he never let go of her as they perused all the fantastic items sold by Wal-Mart.
Notice the large asses all over the place