Tuesday, June 13, 2006

I Can't Quit (bombing) You!

The US military investigated building a "gay bomb", which would make enemy soldiers "sexually irresistible" to each other, government papers say.

I wonder if they quit working on the "gay bomb" to focus in on their "gay-dar" project? Thank you very much! I'll be here all week!

But seriously folks I wonder if while they were working on the gay bomb any radical rightwingers had to question their belief that homosexuality is a choice?

The gay bomb is pretty funny but the bad breath bomb is even better.

Another idea was to develop a chemical causing "severe and lasting halitosis", so that enemy forces would be obvious even when they tried to blend in with civilians.

How'd you like to be the guy or gal with that job, going around sniffing people's breath to identify enemy combatants? How can you differentiate between the "bad-guy" and morning breath? What about the people with just bad breath?

"I swear I'm not an enemy combatant! I just have bad breath...damn that explains all the first and no second dates and why my friends sound like they have stuffed noses when they talk to me."

Researchers also looked into the use of swarms.

Scientists also reportedly considered a "sting me/attack me" chemical weapon to attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats towards enemy troops.

I have an idea for the military. Invent a bomb that has Old Ladies who pass out Jack Chick tracts swarm on the enemy and annoy the hell out of them.

~Phineas


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