Monday, June 12, 2006

Trinity Broadcasting Nutjobs Pt. II

This was the follow up letter from the previous one. Before you read this around 2001 I was trying to see if I could interject Ape McGape as a sort of "cool" into the language of this one website/message board. I really liked that term and don't ask me why but I may do it again. Ape McGape! Around that time I bet my students that if they could interject a new word in the University lingo the class would all get some real good extra credit. It had to be legit though. Nevertheless here is the follow up letter.

Benny Hinn Ministries

Post Office Box 162000

Irving, Texas 75016-2000

Dear Benny Hinn,

I don’t know what I was thinking about when I suggested John Hagee’s Slutty Girl Party. You see my underwear has been very restrictive lately and doesn’t let me leave my place until I’ve cleaned the oven. Well any ways I think the John Hagee Slutty Girl Party has already been done with the final episode where Paul Crouch heals John of his syphilis and his insanity and he rides off into the sunset upon a really tiny scooter, like the kind clowns ride. John Hagee rides the little scooter not Paul, it’s funnier because John is fat and Paul wears a girdle.

Well since I ripped you off with that idea I thought I’d write back and give you another idea, free of charge. It’s called “Rod Stewart Doesn’t See Me in His Bushes.” Since reality television is so hip now and all the kids are talking about it this show should go over like gangbusters, and the best part a whole years worth is already done. I have them all in my own video collection. It’s really an entertaining show with witty comments from yours truly.

In the first episode Rod is sitting around watching television drinking tea and I say stuff like. “Rod…heh heh heh…Rod….heh heh heh.” Really funny stuff like that. The kids today with their rock ‘n’ roll music will love it. The second episode doesn’t really have Rod in it as much as it has his voice. It’s mainly a scene of a telephone and my hand dialing his number and saying stuff like. “Rod…heh heh heh…Rod…heh heh heh.” Then some times I fart into the phone. I even say to him when he gets really mad. “I think you think I’m out to get you. Rod…heh heh heh.” I have three hundred and sixty five hours of this genius just sitting around in my place.

The kids will go Ape Mc Gape over it. The kids will be doing some serious sandwich eating!

Think it over my brother.

Yours truly,





~Phineas

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