Keepin' the flo
I admit I've been crazy lazy with posting lately and I have been even lazier than lazy with the Sexy Professors Show.
I'm going to make it up to you with this post by having your teef rocked right out of your sexy head.
I admit I've been crazy lazy with posting lately and I have been even lazier than lazy with the Sexy Professors Show.
Cry Baby the movie! This movie has it all, love, sex, talented actors, and well written verse. All movies should stive to carry out a socially significant message like Cry Baby. Cry Baby does this with class, real sexy class!!
You know you are getting lazy with your blogging when you are just linking to videos that might explain the ideas you are too lazy to explain.
SPOT THE RHETORIC.
Have you ever had thoughts of entering the world of eBay selling? Have you thought you might like to scam people on eBay? Of course not you aren't some malcontent like Amir. Who's Amir? Get to know Amir and his eBay scam...
I'm a big fan of Terry Gilliam. Not just because he's a founding member, and the only American member of Monte Python. I'm a fan for his movies, I love what he does with his movies. I love how he creates this mad world that envelopes in you its insanity.
Ahhh Prescott I see you got your evaluations. I downloaded the wrong ones and while reading the comments I was thinking "Sweet Sexy Jesus they must be copying and pasting these comments." I then realized I downloaded the wrong evaluation.
Yes it is the time of year where students can give there two cents on what they think and this is what some of the said:
What can I say about this?
Let's skip the usual pointing out that people who watch the Daily Show know more about current events than people who watch FOX news. Let's skip that people who watch FOX are more likely to think we found WMDs in Iraq and there is a direct link between Saddam and al Qaeda. You can find all that in this link.
If you think there is no major political warfare going on in Washington you are either naive or not paying attention. There is a scuffle throughout the various agencies of our government and who gets it in the tail pipe in the end (really no pun intended...ok there was one but intially I wrote it not thinking of it that way but when I realized it I thought "Heh")? I'll give you a hint...last name Me, first name You, middle name And.
"Lawmakers and outside analysts said that while the execution of a warrant on a Congressional office might be surprising — this appears to be the first time it has happened — it fit the Bush administration's pattern of asserting broad executive authority, sometimes at the expense of the legislative and judicial branches.
Pursuing a course advocated by Vice President Dick Cheney, the administration has sought to establish primacy on domestic and foreign policy, not infrequently keeping much of Congress out of the loop unless forced to consult."
Let’s face it Sexy Followers and Sexy Professors we live in a corporate republic. Corporations and special interests pick who will represent them best, not the people. So with that in mind I’d like to offer up an idea. Let’s just come clean with it and find corporate sponsors for specific elections. I’d like to announce that I your Phineas D. Whoopee am looking to be elected to SOMETHING and am in search of a corporate sponsor. I have a few ideas of a good “synergy” for me and my corporate sponsor’s slogans.
McDonalds the leader in toppling those vile evil communist regimes would be a perfect candidate to sponsor my run for political office. We both are well accepted world wide and both jam worthless crap down the throats of people:
“Phineas D. Whoopee for Senator. He’s as delicious and good for you and the economy as a Big Mac. McDonalds and Whoopee Love to see you smile. “
Camel Cigarettes is another great sponsor because they haven’t been able to sell to kids with their cartoon character Joe but now with a Bush Whitehouse corporate responsibility is at an all time low:
“Phineas D. Whoopee and Joe Camel two smooth dudes.”
We Sexy Professors enjoy a drink and then and again and again so it would seem like the perfect match to match my run for office with a distillery.
Original: “Absolut Insert some witty wording”
Whoopee-ized “Absolut Whoopee.”
Exxon. We know our current administration is bought and sold by big oil I want in on that too. If you are worried about the Whoopee name being soiled by be associated with Exxon keep in mind that we’re pretty sure that everything that is wrong with the world is Bill Clinton’s fault (Just listen to Ari Fleischer, Scott McClelan, Tony Snow and Faux News) so don't worry about it.
Original: “A tiger in your tank.”
Whoopee-ized “Put some Whoopee in your tank.”
American Express. What better company to be associated with in these jingoistic times. When you got American in your name and a nice lil’ American flag you are above reproach.
American Express: “Don’t leave home with out it.”
Whoopee-ized: “Phineas D. Whoopee, don’t leave the ballot box without him.”
United Dairy Producers just want you to have strong teeth and bones while they reap loads of dough off of their hormone induced milk products. Kind of like your good ole Sexy Professor.
Original: “Got Milk?”
Whoopee-ized: “Got Whoopee?”
In the Sexy Professors era of good times and smiling politics, communication will be the key to keeping it real so who better to sponsor my campaign than AT&T?
Original: “Reach out and touch someone.”
Whoopee-ized: “Reach out and touch Phineas D. Whoopee...right there yeah!”
UPS has made a name for itself with great delivery and big brown trucks. If elected I plan to deliver results and those results will be big brown trucks driving around with drunk chicks.
Original: “Moving at the speed of business.”
Whoopee-ized: “Moving at the speed of Whoopee.”
While I spent time in
Original: “Guinness is good.”
Whoopee-ized: “Whoopee is good.” or "Sexy is good."
Nothing is more American than a Coke and world domination and under my reign that is what you’ll see more of, people chugging coke (not snorting it you GW Bush people) and world domination in the name of “free” enterprise.
Original: “Have Coke and a smile.”
“Coke is it.”
Whoopee-ized: “Have a Whoopee and a smile.”
“Whoopee is it.”
BMW may be Bavarian MotorWerks but that doesn’t mean I can’t be sponsored by them. Hell some major
Original: “The Ultimate Driving Machine.”
Whoopee-ized: “The Ultimate Voting machine.” ooooo! or "The Ultimate Sexy Machine!"
Nike and sweatshops go hand in hand and I'd like to hold hands with that "bidness".
Original: “Just do it.”
Whoopee-ized: “Just do Phineas D. Whoopee.”
In these trying times of losing jobs and retirement funds what better way to wash the pain and misery away than with a cold Budweiser and voting for Phineas D. Whoopee.
Original: “The King of Beers.”
Whoopee-ized: “The King of Kings.” Oops no wait. “The King of Sexy.”
Trojan condoms may be sinful (wink) and promote all sorts of deviant behavior it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t take their money.
“Phineas D. Whoopee and Trojan, you’ll wish he had one on when he’s done with the nation.”
Enron. What can I say they paid for all our tickets to Bush Pt II:
“Enron, like Phineas D. Whoopee’s political career, we ain’t dead yet!”
GW Bush Inc. This is the team that said during the campaign that they were going to go into the White House and run it like big business because those guys were on the ball.
I guess they really did because both big business and the White House have been wracked with scandals and have ruined
“GW Bush and Phineas D. Whoopee looking out for the rich guy.”
There you have it. Don't worry the next part of the Sexy Professors Show will be coming soon.
Prescott, one of our MIA Sexy Proffessors (He and Ricardo Honeyboy have not been frequenting this here blog it has been up to yours truly Phineas D. Whoopee to keep it real. The D stands for "Loverboy"). Let's get this baby back on track. Prescott "The Frozen Hobo" Worthington wrote a rhetorical analysis of the website Drunk Cyclist and sent it off to that ole Drunk Cyclist. After putting down his big gulp of Dr. Pepper and vodka he was nice enought to link to one of our posts. That really jazzed the Sexy Professors (especially Ricardo Honeyboy who took a moment from filming his movie Ricardo Honeyboy and the Sexy Female Space Banditos to smile and nod approvingly).
Wired News has posted the AT&T documents on Big Business/Brother spying on the American Public at the request of the Bush Administration.
I wrote the following document in 2004 when it became clear to me that AT&T, at the behest of the National Security Agency, had illegally installed secret computer gear designed to spy on internet traffic. At the time I thought this was an outgrowth of the notorious Total Information Awareness program, which was attacked by defenders of civil liberties. But now it's been revealed by The New York Times that the spying program is vastly bigger and was directly authorized by President Bush, as he himself has now admitted, in flagrant violation of specific statutes and constitutional protections for civil liberties. I am presenting this information to facilitate the dismantling of this dangerous Orwellian project.
The term Orwellian has bandied about way too much but it is dead on to describe what the Bush Administration in conjunction with Big Business, has been doing.And for the apologists for this spying on the American public all I have to say to you is that you are truly UnAmerican and are helping the terrorists. No wait you are terrorists.
On the president's lower than low approval ratings Karl "Satan's Minion" Rove had this to say, and it is very telling about this administration
As a part of the our never ending mission to tear down any icon we present you with this lil' ditty.
Now you can make the chimp dance, verbally.
The three sexy professors walk into the room and pose. Phineas holds his pipe thoughtfully,
Sam: Well well well if it isn’t the Sexy Professors.
Detective #2: Ha! Pabst Blue Ribbon? Pabst Blue Ribbon is not sexy.
Ricardo looks at the other two sexy professors, smirks and points at the detective.
Ricardo: Get this guy. He thinks sexy is conducted through material objects. Listen up detective sexy is not cast upon a person but the person shines through with sexiness. So when Ricardo Honeyboy holds a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon you can bet your life that it’s sexy not because of the Pabst but because Ricardo Honeyboy is holding it.
VOICE OVER: The Sexy Professors brought to you by Pabst Blue Ribbon.
The detective looks away in shame as Sam the head detective walks between the Ricardo and the detective to cut off the sexy argument.
Sam: Ok ok! What brings you three here?
Phineas: We hear that there is another sexy situation at hand.
Sam: There is nothing sexy about murder.
Ricardo begins to chug his pabst and nods in agreement.
Phineas: For the love of sexiness
Ricardo: No. We were only humoring you when you said that skull could talk to you and told you where you could buy discount candy.
Sam: Alright that’s enough we have official business here could you three please go do something other than be stupid here.
Ricardo walks over by the president of the university’s desk and looks at a notepad on the desk.
Ricardo: This is interesting.
He holds up the pad to show it has a date written and time circled.
Phineas: Hmm interesting (he lights his pipe again for effect) it says that the president has a meeting and only a couple hours before the death took place. Interesting.
Ricardo: I disagree. Here on the rest of the pad of paper are a bunch of doodles. One of what appears to be a cowboy shooting a monkey. Hmmm. And this appears to be a rocketship shooting some kind of line from it at another rocketship.
Phineas: Those are lasers. And look a man with a giant mustache. It appears the president did have some kind of a meeting because those are the doodles of someone bored. We see them all the time in our classes.
Phineas: You’re right
Ricardo: Right and the ones that aren’t painting murals are having a nice nap.
Sam: Interesting so you think he did have a meeting. But what was the meeting about?
Phineas: Let’s see if we can find anymore clues around the office. Hey look a business card. It says Boundaries Inc. a subsidiary of Halliburton. A fence making company. Interesting.
Ricardo: Why would a fencing company be in a meeting with the president? This we must look into.
To be continued.
Ya know I never realized until now that the Faces of Meth was a play on the Faces of Death videos that was the right of passage for every teen boy in my age group.
Here is some good news.
Washington, DC – “I support net neutrality. The open architecture of the Internet has been the critical element that has made it the most revolutionary communications medium since the advent of the television.
Each day on the Internet views are discussed and debated in an open forum without fear of censorship or reprisal. The Internet as we know it does not discriminate among its users. It does not decide who can enter its marketplace and it does not pick which views can be heard and which ones silenced. It is the embodiment of the fundamental democratic principles upon which our nation has thrived for hundreds of years.
I have always, and will continue to strongly and unequivocally support these principles. As I have worked throughout my Senate career to make broadband access readily available throughout New York State and our nation, I believe that maintaining an open Internet coupled with more broadband access is necessary if we are to meet the promise and the potential of the Internet to disseminate ideas and information, enhance learning, education and business opportunities for all Americans and improve and uplift our citizenry.
The current political map looks a lot like this.
I thought we all might have some sexy fun if we sent this letter to various cemetaries in our towns.
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing to you with a problem. But let me start this letter out on congratulating you and your cemetery. When ever I think of a great place to rot away I think of insert local cemetery name here. I have yet to hear of one complaint about your cemetery, so far no stories of misplacing bodies or zombie’s looking for brains fiascos. In fact I think that might be a good idea, kind of like the McDonalds Billions Served You could have a sign out with 0 Zombie Attacks I know for a fact that when people look to lay their loved ones to rest they look to see if that loved one might return to chomp on their brain. You can use that idea free of charge.
So let’s get to the reason I’m writing this letter to you. I have recently looked at a house to purchase and it turns out that the house is located next to your cemetery. Now I’m not one to fall for superstitions but this one happens to be true. I was told that if you didn’t hold your breath while you were around, driving by or near a cemetery the inhabitants of the cemetery would haunt you. Not zombies but ghosts so the sign could still apply. Like I said the only way to fend off these “hauntings” would be to hold your breath. This leads me to my problem. If I purchase this house I will have to hold my breath all the time I’m in my house. Now I don’t know about you but I spend a lot of time in my house so that could lead to some problems. Now not only have I heard that your cemetery is zombie free but I have heard that you are by far the nicest cemetery in town so I’m sure you’ll want to help me with my problem. I really do not want to suffocate because of holding my breath. Nor would I want to go unconscious and fall upon one of my large collections of spiked bowling balls I like to place all over the floor of my place of residence. Nor would I want to be haunted by ghost of any kind.
So here is what I propose to you. I suggest that you dig up all the bodies and move your cemetery to another part of the town. This way I can purchase the home and not worry about suffocating, blacking out and falling on one of my spiked bowling balls or having ghosts haunt my house because I didn’t hold my breath. I understand that this might be troublesome and timely but if you are willing I would be happy to wait a week or two before moving into the house.
I thank you for your kind attention and look forward to hearing from you in the future.
(Washington, DC) Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption, announced today that Department of Defense released a videotape to Judicial Watch at 1:00 p.m. this afternoon that shows American Airlines Flight 77 striking the Pentagon on September 11, 2001. The Department of Defense released the videotape in response to a Judicial Watch Freedom of Information Act request and related lawsuit.
Scene: Outside the Sexy Lair (looks much like Hef’s place) it’s night time. The sexy lair is illuminated with a few ground spotlights giving it a sexy look of sexiness. The door to the sexy lair suddenly opens and the sexy professors come rushing out still in their smoking jackets and sexy pants.
The three run to the Sexy Mobile which is a wicked cool van with a bubble window on the side and picture of a unicorn and a rainbow on the side. Phineas stops and points at the picture.
Phineas: I’m telling you Prescott this looks totally gay.
Ricardo: I still think my idea of a Female Space Bandito in a skimpy bikini and large jugs would be the best one.
The three both look thoughtful.
Phineas: I’m going to have to agree with Ricardo on this one.
Ricardo: Sexier than a female space bandito with large knockers?
Ricardo jumps into the drivers seat while Phineas jumps into the passengers side.
Fire shoots out of the tail pipe of the van while Phineas looks out the side window at the fire. He leans back in to quip with the fellow sexy professors.
Phineas: That looks like felt after eating that Ethiopian food.
The three sexy professors zoom off into the night.
Meanwhile at the office of the president police officers are taking picture of the sexy dead coed. Not that she’s sexy now that she’s all dead and stuff but she was once sexy before she was killed.
A stereotypical hardboiled detective in a trench coat (with a suit on under it. He’s not a flasher…or is he) is standing over the body. His partner in a trench coat too comes in holding a pad and pen.
Detective #2: Well Sam it appears she was killed some time around 9 pm to 11 pm. As I’m sure you can already tell she was bludgeoned with a candle stick here in the president’s office’s library. Are there any more clues.
Sam Detective #1: We will soon find out. Just as long as we aren’t interrupted by those damn Sexy Professors. They always stick their sexy noses into our cases and some how through their amazing analytical minds are able to solve the crimes with sexy results.
Detective #2: And they never invite us to their sexy parties.
Sam: Yes sexy parties are where its at.
To be continued.
I was thinking of changing my mobile service for reasons that I have yet to identify other than my own sexiness was overpowering and calling for a slight change. I was thinking of some and Verizon was one of them because I totally love those commercials (Text is horrible with conveying sarcasm). Then the whole NSA scandal came out. Verizon along with the Death Star, AT&T, were among those big "bidnesses" that handed over the numbers to Big Brother.
NEW YORK (CNN) - A lawsuit is asking a federal court to order President Bush, the National Security Agency and Verizon to end a secret snooping program, and Verizon's stock took a hit on the news Monday.
The suit, filed Friday by two New Jersey lawyers on behalf of ll Verizon subscribers, contends the phone records collection - first reported by USA Today on Thursday - violates the Constitutional right to privacy and federal law.Now let's think of this on a couple o' levels.
From the Sexy News Association Telegraph Corporate Headquarters (put that acronym together)
Old Rich White Dudes Can’t Catch a Break
D.C. (SNATCH) – The National Organization of CEOs (N.O. CEOs) has filed a law suit against various law enforcement agencies citing racial profiling.
“All around the nation it’s no longer safe to be an old rich greedy white dude. There is this air of suspicion and this air is created by the media and the law enforcement agencies of the
“I was driving around in my Mercedes I recently bought by giving myself a loan from my company when I saw the ole red and blue lights flashing.” Said one rich old white CEO J.P. Moneybags. “I hadn’t done anything really wrong but nevertheless the man started to harass me. Asking me if I knew of or was planning to cook accounting books. Well I never!”
Since the latest corporate scandal hit the nation scores of old rich white dudes have been rounded up by the government for questioning.
“It’s not the poor black woman, or the hard working Korean store owner who is causing these problems. It’s not those people who declared war on the average American, its rich old white dudes who have done this.” Said Officer David Whitey of the Seattle Police Dept. “And because they are the ones who have been the predominant ones to commit these crimes we must scrutinize them.”
But Harry Palmer of N.O. CEOs doesn’t agree.
“Convicting a whole race and age group is not the American way. Besides we are at war with terrorism shouldn’t the government be occupied with catching and detaining those Middle Eastern men who are the real terrorists?”
Read this then watch it on the link at the bottom…
In July Iran will ditch the dollar in favour of the euro as the currency in which it will accept payments for its oil and natural gas exports, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced Friday.
The switch, first mooted months ago, was expected but Ahmadinejad's decision comes just as Washington is stepping up pressure on other United Nations Security Council members to act against Tehran for flouting agreements taken with the UN's nuclear watchdog.
Ahmadinejad's announcement, made in Baku, Azerbaijan where the Iranian leader is attending a regional economics conference, appears aimed at weakening the United States' resolve to seek sanctions against Iran if it does not comply with the UN International Agency for Atomic Energy's demands.
Some observers beleive the Iranian move could deal a severe blow the the American currency as many central banks from oil importing nations could choose to stock up their currency reserves with euros rather than dollars- AKI
And now some sexy news brought to you by The SEXY NEWS AGENCY. The only news agency that makes the news even more sexy.
AMA Report: Dr. Dre not a real Doctor
New York (SNA)- In an announcement today that rocked the Medical and Rap world the AMA, American Medical Association, announced that rap icon and producer Dr. Dre was in fact not a licensed doctor.
“We were aware of Dr. Dre’s funky beats and dope rhymes but we weren’t too sure if he was an actual doctor licensed to practice medicine.” Said Thomas Whitey M.D. in a press conference. “So we did some research and found no registration of a Mr. Dre.”
With that revelation the AMA recommended that Dr. Dre cease and desist all references to himself as a doctor.
“He may be a surgeon when it comes to cutting up and sewing together the beats. And he may have a laser surgeon’s precision with dope ass rhymes but he is not a registered Doctor. I don’t even think he has a Ph.D. and that isn’t a Playa Hata Degree.” Said Lester Cracker M.D. a member of the AMA.
“Perhaps he can refer to himself as Mr. Dre. Or Well Informed Citizen Dre but we must insist he stop referring to himself as a doctor.” Said Dr. Whitey.
Dr. Dre has yet to respond to this shocking allegation.
Japan's government is pushing for the passage of an anti-conspiracy law with potentially far-reaching consequences. Called the Kyoubouzai Hoan (conspiracy or collusion law), the legislation appears headed for passage in the diet (parliament) as soon as next week. In its present form, it could result in Japanese citizens being detained or punished for merely agreeing with one another.
"One government lawyer who has participated in negotiations with telecommunications providers said the Bush administration has argued that a company can turn over its entire database of customer records -- and even the stored content of calls and e-mails -- because customers "have consented to that" when they establish accounts."
Phineas walks into the room, removes his tweed coat with the elbow patches and puts on a clotting blood red and black smoking jacket. He pauses to fill up his pipe and light it taking long sexy drags from the pipe and looking thoughtful (all a tension builder). He walks over to the bar and begins to mix himself a martini.
Ricardo (as he enjoys some brandy from his snifter): I assume this sexy situation is of utmost importance.
Phineas (through clenched teeth holding his pipe): The utmostiest.
Ricardo: Or live ones. I prefer live ones.
(Laugh track this is a dramedy after all)
Phineas: Unlike Count Worthington over there.
Phineas walks over to his leather chair and eases himself into it while placing his martini on the table next to his chair. He holds his pipe and looks thoughtfully.
Phineas: It appears our arch-nemesis Admini-Stra-Tor is at it again. A body of a young co-ed was found in the office of the President of the University while at the same time the President wants to cut funding to our college.
Ricardo: What about the dead young lady?
Ricardo stands up from his lounging position on the bear skin rug. He grabs a pen from the pocket of his smoking jacket and begins to twirl it around his thumb like all god debaters. He raises his left fist to the sky.
Ricardo Honeyboy: This looks like a job for the Sexy Professors.
To be continued.
The Sexy Professors in
Another Sexy Situation
G as Ricardo Honeyboy
T as Phineas D. Whoopee
With special guest star
Scene: Close up of the cover of Rhetoric Society Quarterly. The first article listing the authors The Sexy Professors’ latest article Ascots, pipes, and martinis: The rhetoric of sexy. The camera slowly pulls out to show that Prescott Randolph Worthington the III is reading the journal.
Barry White’s I’m qualified to satisfy you plays in the background.
Camera goes back on Prescott who comes out of his reverie.
Ricardo: “I agree. Ladies please excuse us as we figure out what to do about this boredom.”
The scantly clad ladies leave the room, giggling of course.
Ricardo: “That would be sexy!”
Camera moves to the door to the sexy lounge. It opens and in struts Phineas D. Whoopee. (cue applause sign). He walks over to the rest of the sexy professors.
Phineas: “Good day chaps. It appears we have another sexy situation.”
Theme song (Do ya think I’m sexy by Rod Stewart) plays for opening credits.
To be continued.
Sorry all you sexy people out there but I have decided to rewrite the Sexy Professors show in a script format and redo somethings.
I hate to repeat myself. I mean I really really hate to repeat myself, but repeating myself helps people to remember those things that I need to repeat. Anyway...Now that I got out of the way that I hate to repeat myself let me get on to repeating myself.
...sit down on the bear skin rug and have a sip of some sweet sweet booze. It's sexy time.
I've always enjoyed the sexiness of "the people" finding ways to F with the man. We've seen it in different ways such as the rave at Wal Mart or fun with Culture Jamming. Now we can see another new way to screw with the uniformity of the box store culture.
I'm going to stand up for what is right and what is moral and go out on a limb and declare that prostitutes are not sexy and they are not morally "correct"...so why does the Republican majority think we are common hookers?